Simon Morgan – Freelance

I have decided that a weekly blog is too much of a good thing and so I henceforth I will be confining myself to a monthly out burst. In any case I was spreading myself far too thinly! If only! So here is Miss September.

I note that a charity is calling for fake muggings to be staged in the street to try and encourage the public to assist their fellow citizens when they are attacked. I also note that some artist wants to put up a vending machine outside a school that will sell toy guns. There really is too much of this. It seems that we have to put up with any number of crackpot ideas if they are meant to highlight some perceived social ill. OK then, I will go along with this. From now on, in order to highlight the danger of silly bastards being given too much leeway, I will slap anyone coming up with a daft suggestion very hard round the head.

Ever since the MP’s expenses fiasco all politicians have become engaged in a flagrant display of self flagellation. Like medieval penitents they vie with each other to confess how sinful they have been in granting themselves such generous perks and allowances. At the moment David Cameron and the Tories have set the bench mark: ministerial salaries slashed, subsidised meals cut, no employment of family members. All complete twaddle of course. The fact is that Parliament will not be properly reformed until we eradicate the curse of the career politician. It seems incredible to me that we are entrust the solution of extremely complex problems to people whose only experience of life has been gained in party politics. Parliament developed in the way it has because it was traditionally filled by confident self made men who had experience of life, knew what was what and were quite prepared to stand up and make their views known. The ridiculous lobby fodder which now passes for our elected representatives must go if we are to be a proper representative democracy.

There is a lot that is happening these days that makes one profoundly pessimistic about the future of mankind as a civilised race of beings. However occasionally there is the odd flash which gives one hope that atavism has not completely taken hold. One of these is the news that Channel 4 will soon be axing their bestial progeny: Big Brother. Apparently even the mindless and the moronic who made up the contestants and the viewers have grown tired of this dreadful product.

I have been quite shocked at the evident relish shown by many commentators in attacking the sport of Rugby football over the ‘bloodgate’ affair. Those advocates of sports whose reputations have sunk into the mire of greed and commercialism have always looked enviously at Rugby’s shiny virtue. So when Harlequins: one of the most traditional teams and their manager Dean Richards: one of the greatest England internationals there has ever been; are found guilty of blatant cheating the schadenfreude felt by the knockers is almost exquisite. However in Soccer a theatrical clutch of the ankle and a wincing visage that even Marlon Brando would have regarded as ham acting is considered sufficient evidence for the award of a penalty or a sending off. At least in Rugby player has to show clear and visible signs of injury before such procedures can begin.

I read a rather odd report the other day that stated that the Luftwaffe had bombed innocent civilians causing considerable loss of life. What was curious about the report was that the person who made it seemed surprised and horrified by the event. Surely everyone knows that is what the Luftwaffe has been doing since it was founded?